G4alien's 365 & 1/4 的生活空間

這次的夢境比以往屠殺的過程來的比較親生經歷，夢到我在日本一個平房木制旅館看著飄雪的景色，不過時代感已分不清現代還是古代了；在看著漂雪的景色，眼光定佇於一處斷崖旁的雕像。這斷崖似乎是地震後截斷或市建築中未完成的天橋道路階段，不過當地人往來間對雕像與截斷的天橋道路若不是習以為常，就是無視於危險無防範的存在；好似只是斷橋觀光景點或是根本不曾存在的一個據點。

頓時，看著一輛馬車橫衝直撞，之後在截斷的天橋飛車墜落在橋底大雪覆蓋區。當然看到的景是即刻暴斃的馬與碎落的馬車廂，至於是否乘客於車廂內就不得而知；因為從旅館依窗遠望也無法知道細節處。之後接連三人陸續以自由方式墜落；首先是一對舞者，一路上兩人相擁跳節奏韻律明朗的快捷舞，是十分興奮模樣；卻在兩人互視舞動時，在這截斷的橋跳躍直直墜落。死狀不是鮮血淋漓、腸肚分離或是身首異處的葬生方式，而是摔落在深厚的大雪上，內部骨頭似乎斷裂卻在掙扎中。我大喊著救命，開了大片日式傳統窗子對外遠處的街道，對摔落斷橋下的指著，喊著救命啊、救救她們；卻在呼叫的其中，第三個人直衝抵達斷橋邊延處，停住、俯瞰；直接選擇以跳水模式墜入的方式自殺。死的方式也一如是，沒有將白色大地染紅，卻抽畜著訴求著解救或是徹底的解放。我對著他們呼喊，對著路人呼喊，但仍沒人當作一回事。我環顧四週搜尋電話想尋求警方協助，可是卻怎麼也找不著，房屋建設下並沒有電話設施；我急著想找旅館人尋求解救，但似乎旅館卻只有我一個人存在。接著夢似乎暗了，而我清醒過來感覺到喪氣難過；不那麼一下子，我又沉睡了。

接連的夢跳落在我陪著媽媽走在白天的那日本城市街道的景色；在選擇一個陰暗的小庭中，選了一杯奇怪果茶聽著人說著自家事，我企圖想從路人口中說出似乎是昨夜發生的慘案；可是卻沒有一人提及。後來我獨自離開了小吃亭子，走入一個傳統家庭式的餐館，裡頭似乎是餐館機營者與親戚的聚會日子。聽著裡頭的人說過去曾經發生的問題與當地奇異的現象。我詢問著經營該餐館的主人翁，解釋著我看到的自殺與死狀，霎時；大家看著我，對著我說：「你知道？你看到整個過程？」接著看著他們彼此交頭接耳，後來要我帶著她們小孩的護身符。看著小孩驚慌模樣，即使我也害怕；但總不能要小孩把她們自個兒的護身符給外人吧。

在廳內大夥兒慌亂同時，我一直聽到一種奇怪的低沉聲音由小漸大地從樓上餐館包廂傳出。我問著主人翁的妻舅，是否他也聽到奇特的聲音傳出。此時，看著他從驚慌的表情變的猙獰擔憂，刻不容緩的喊著要全部所有人都馬上離開疏散，眼神直視的盯著我；堅決地要求我即刻離開；因為我是唯一跟他能聽到聲音的人。他告訴我自殺的人魂魄群聚回來找人尋仇、在當地製造是非，或是想找個媒介來洩憤。我跟著整個廳內的人在最短的時間內離開餐館，主人翁的妻舅拉著我再次叮嚀我逃離需前後依著肥胖之人，並塞給了我翠綠的玉珠繯。倉皇中，我前後抵著兩個肥厚的人；閉著眼睛啥都不想看到，只想安全離開這是非混雜之地。逃離的過程中，還是免不了看到逃難者驚恐的面容與我慌張的逃離，倉卒移動的同時，發現逃難者似乎想說什麼卻又隱含不提；內有隱情，似乎隱含著未讓我得知全面內幕。最後到了一座木架古橋，眼前面對的是選擇自由落體方式墜落的其中一女子魂魄，她得意的狂嘯與鬼魅般的哭笑著自己的辛酸與外人看到她自己選擇結束的方式。

That night I'd a weird dream again. I cutted people's abdomen and grabbed 2 people's heads out of different people's stomach. The heads I grabbed were from people's stomach and those heads were covered with sticky liquid. I felt the sticky liquid with drops on the ground. Those heads were smiling at me with those evil temperament. They had bodies with tiny one as octopus but struggling as asthma. Their face reflected from swaying light appeared to be darker colour and dreadful. Also, the dream remains killing with blood around.

I start having strange dreams again, the dream I've been killed by different methods. I still feel that was a vivid dream and I almost lost my breath when I woke up. This time, I was killed on horse by spear stabbing into my heart and I was in General suit about hudrend years ago. Another dream was I was murdered and burried in a discarded or understructured garden. That place was dark and I saw people rebuilding the floor. I followed a guy who was about 32years old, good built but bold and seemed to be my housemate. Afterwards, I was hitted and burried.

I had a very strange dream that I was in a village as a visitor. That village is an old living style which applied torches for light in the evening. The location seems to be in South East Asia, like in Cambodia. Those people are all non-Chinese look but very Asian face living in straw-built structure. Forest around with the cry of insects. People spoke in different language which I don’t understand. I just know in that dream, women was bullied and humiliated by their tribe leader who is a 50s year old man. He took young lady about teenage as a kind of sacrifice ritual for their god by having sex. He abused this ritual with various excuses to have sex with any young ladies who are from poor family and can’t afford life no mentioni to fight back that leader. I can’t remember the complete dream but several girls were crying and telling me by a certain chronicle memory and images inputting into my head of how they were tortured and those strong sorrow feeling of how cruel it could be was transmitted to me. I could even feel the pain from their bodies and sense that vulnerable, defenseless and fragile sadness from their mind. The final scene before I woke up was a pregnant female in age 17 or 18 who looked dingy in smeared white robe to be sent to cremate her body because she was raped by that tribe leader when she was in pregnancy of week 30s. After the rape or their so-called ritual for god, she was miscarried and I saw her legs open under her robe and had vagina bleeding mixed with other mucus as kind of a running sore festering. She was yelling, shouting, crying out loud and struggling to get rid of four men’s lifting. I could even sense her nervous breakdown and then I woke up with the impression of her open legs with festering in blood and mud.

When having this kind of dream and waking up from such a dream, I don’t feel good and feel sorry for them. This is some dreams that I wonder whether I am sick or my mental ability has problem. Those dreams are so vivid as if I was there and experienced through what people feel. When I was in the dream, I sometimes want to get out of there and was very aware of being in sleep and didn’t want to suffer those dreams to carry on. Last few days, I dreamed that I was about to sleep and had another dream of getting myself out of my dreams. My brain is too active and I want to stop it once a while. Why not having some normal dreams? Or how come I have dreams like this? People are dead, coming back or I am looking for a way to get of the scene in my dream. Do I really sleep?

The image of this young aged raped girl is so strong no to get rid of easily. Her helpless and perplexed look from the expression in her eyes had me like taking the picture of that scene and file in my brain which can’t be deleted. This is a dream in the language that I don’t know and can’t communicate with the people there. Every dream may have its meaning of whatever my mental or physical problem. I wonder whether I am so sick to stop those inerasable scene from my memory or I may even confuse those with movies or reality as if I’ve seen somewhere before.

Maybe I can script for movies and sell it to make good income. Oh, God!!!