G4alien's 365 & 1/4 的生活空間

Well, it is another dream of an attempted suicide yesterday. I was a woman in a black veil covering myself all. The appearance of mine in the dream was in dark brown long hair and green eyes. That is all I can tell through the reflection of the lamp glass. It was like a deep and long hall way in the underground where I do not know where I am really located. I saw different kind of people walking pass me in a solemn countenance, and looking at me apathetically. The passenger were wearing some tattoo style mask and appeared in an insentient attitude as if I were the intruder.

I do not know what I was looking for but I had an image of a crying and mournful man (aged around late 20s) occupied in my head. I do not know the person and do now know why he was in the underground locked in a stone cell. He was fastened with a chain to the wall in a kneeling position. He was full of tears and blood on his face. The cell was so dark but I could see him in dusty and rent clothes through the twilight of the old fashion oil lamp. He looks so fragile and lifeless. The surroundings were so silent and so cold. I could barely sense any living creature ever got out of the cell. I tried to walk to him and would like to look him in a close distance. I noticed that he was also chained in a straw rope on his neck hanging to the wall.

Suddenly, he lifted up his head with a very sorrow look and stared at me steadily. I didn't see the anger from his eyes but love, a kind of begging gaze toward to my face firmly. I felt I knew him before but I can not recognise who he is exactly. The feeling I have towards him was so familiar and so alien at the same time. I have no idea who he is exactly even I was trying so hard to recall my memory of his face. Still, I found no clue to discern who he is and why he is there. I felt so depressed, sad and almost cried because I can not bear to imagine the torture he has been through, mentally and physically.

Before I asked him who he is and how I could do for him, he kept staring me with keen, and shouted with a hoarse voice all of a sudden. The voice was so dry and hollow. I felt I was drawn into a short fragment of the past memory I shared with him. I lost myself in that transience and could not recollect that abrupt memory. I seemed to be very close to him, but he seems to resent me and be willing to sacrifice in order to impose his image on me. It was such a drastic method for him to inflict his soul on my mind.

He shouted, "Can't you forget me…..why you don't choose me…..why you don't love me….why you don't give me a chance….it's not fair….I have been trying so hard but why don't you just try to look at me….even a sympathetic look…..why…..why…., I'll suicide to make you remember me forever, but will you….." and he kept weeping with the words, "why….why not…". I was in a shock, running out of the cell and did not know where I was running to and the sense of sorrow and sadness descended. However, I kept running and running. The hall way seems to be endless and I saw myself disappeared in the darkness.