G4alien's 365 & 1/4 的生活空間

Yesterday, I was talking with a friend of mine about her concerns. I reflected how I felt of my past and what I have been through. Meanwhile, the reflection also helps me to review my past suffering. I was ever a timid person, and do not know how to be strong and independent enough. Yet, I do not even notice when I have changed, which makes me to review how I made such a change. Therefore, the first changing point I would recall is that I start to develop one hobby and maintain it consistently; such as, daily exercise (running, stretching, or walking), creativity performance (drawing, writing and designing) or setting small challenges; etc. I developed one hobby of 30 mins stretching exercise as my daily simple target whilst I was 14 years old; then I maintain it over years. Now I set up another challenge though I was not keen to, which is to run 30 mins or 2 miles walking daily. So far this challenge has been 4 months. Though I still view this target as a challenge, I continue to work out on a regular basis. My intention is to convert this challenge to be a daily habbit.

Also, it is important to be self-disciplined. The first thing I requested myself is saying ‘NO’ to myself in making of excuses, such as: "I am not bothered because I am not in the moods." or "I can't make I because I am not capable of maintenance” or “I am not going to make it." Refusing my own excuses is the first responsibility and reaction I would seriously adapt. Since there is no excuse, there is always something to work on. (Well, driving others to achieve the goal is easier than driving ourselves to reach the target. If we are the model to make someone learn after us, we need to be strong.) Although I do not know how others would view the relations of perseverance and achievement, I am aware that I would find myself gaining sense of achievement as long as I make an effort on maintaining a hobby consistently and continuously. The feeling of "disability" or "failure" could be overcome gradually. In other words, it is more like having the power in controlling my will to perform a task and face the challenge, such as daily exercise or other kind of hobby, etc.

I often shout in my mind, "YES!!! I MADE IT!!! IT'S NOT SO HARD TO ACHIEVE!!!" It is the accomplishment for a day but if I maintain one little challenge daily, e.g. 30 mins a day, I gradually develop my confidence, my ability of self-insurance and enhance the level of peace in mind. It could benefit physical and mental health. That is how I gain my strength from. Nothing comes easy and effortless. Furthermore, I also can not accept the excuse of "I'll do it when I have more time", "I'll start it when…" or "I hope I could …" Honestly, it is another start of setback because time is always not enough and the condition of 'when' shows no determination. In addition, nothing would happen if we are not the one to make efforts to change ourselves. It is my faith to believe that making effort to achieve a small goal could be a trigger to foster the sense of achievement.

I think one of my strength is "perseverance" in addition to dedication. Thus, even though I do not know whether there is a hope, at least, I am able to trust myself that I am a capable person. My past experience ever encountered a terrible physical condition (series lymph nodes) and failed in the university entrance exam as my first life torment. My dream of university life was fallen apart at that moment, and I thought I have nothing to lose. Another thought that occurred to me was that I would be the only one to make my life. I do not want to be manipulated by others and be defeated by life setbacks. As long as I am alive, I am capable of making my own choice and that is what I am and who I am.

If I am in a fair condition, I would see myself lucky to cherish what I own in life. As long as there is little effort, there is always something to achieve and there is always something to challenge, which is a way in life for us to learn and manage. I think that could be about the "faith". If we choose not to help ourselves, how could we ask others to help us? Let's put it in another way, we often choose to help those who are willing to help themselves. If we are making effort to change the condition, seeking for advice would draw some feedbacks. Yet, seeking for help and asking for comfort are different. I would think that seeking for help is interactive because it is a way of making a fundamental self-change. However, making a comfort is more like a temporary effort. In one sentence, how a person deals with issues only depends on his/her own decision. That is how I eventually change to be a confident individuality.



PS. In addition to understand how to respect the individuality, I realize there is another thing I learnt in the UK education, which is "making a list", e.g. writing down the con/pro, potential problem/ workable solution" so as to organise the issue with a visual support, and review the issue without having a confusing thought. Though I ever see it as a stupid way, however, I learnt to know it is the value of listing process, which I would be able to make condition in order and in a logical way. It is nothing about how it looks after listing it. The list would help me to review different conditions (pro/con) individually.